Well, not exactly, but close. I had this dream the other night that was kind of crazy. It was kind of a long one, and I don’t remember all of it, but what I do remember stuck with me. So, I was in this basement of sorts and there was this old bicycle. On it was a black widow spider. Some guy, who I don’t know, he looked like some sort of motorcycle guy, pointed it out. The spider jumped off the bicycle and started coming towards me, trying to get away from the guy. I had a broom, the old fashioned kind that you see witches ride and I was trying to kill it. I must say, I have terrible aim. The spider wasn’t moving that fast even, but no matter how many whacks I took at it, the spider kept coming. It scurried past me and crawled up under this black stove; the kind that most people have in their kitchen these days. The only difference was that the legs on the stove were about eight inches long, so I could get my broom all the way under it. I was still trying to get at the spider when I noticed a ton of other cob webs under there and I started cleaning them out. Suddenly, a duck fell out of the bottom of the stove, then some eggs, a chicken and another duck. The nests fell out soon after. Needless to say I was surprised that now I had two giant ducks, a chicken (which I don’t recall seeing more than a second) and some duck eggs to deal with. I was suddenly very stressed. The guy who was there (who IS this guy??) told me that one of the nests was for the duck and the other was for the chicken. Now when I look at the nests, that were actual nests when they fell out have turned into white porcelain bowls lined with cooked rice. WTF. I grab one of the ducks and plop him in the bowl. He fills up the whole thing. How is this the duck’s nest?? The other nest which is now also a bowl lined with rice is the same size. The other duck is waddling around, now there are baby ducks, and the chicken is no where in sight. I take the duck out of the nest and hold it in my lap and the guy tosses the other duck close to the doorway. I yelled at him, “what are you doing??” He said, “Your lap is full. I thought you didn’t want that one.” Then I woke up.

They say that dreams are a window into your subconscious; trying to work things out. I believe that. But what I have also come to understand is that the Universe and the beings that reside there (angels entities, spirits, etc) can easily manipulate this part of us and bring us messages in that space. So, when I have a crazy dream with distinct things that stand out, I pay attention.

How do you interpret something so crazy? You pick it apart and look it up. Start by taking each element that stands out to you and Google it: dream symbolism (fill in the blank) or spiritual symbolism (fill in the blank). When you look each item up, there will most likely be several search results, each varying a little bit in meaning. Read through them and see what resonates or feel relevant to your life right now. Sometimes, nothing seems to really fit and I feel like the dream had a different meaning all together. For this dream, I will break it down for you:

Old Bicycle: when you are trying to balance numerous situations or you are wanting to get to a destination in real life.

This makes sense. I took this to represent my past and how I had always done things. Trying but never actually accomplishing my dreams. Stop trying and start doing!

Black widow spider : The symbolism of a Black Widow spider in your thoughts means that you are suffering from a strained relationship with someone in real life, and you are uncertain about its future. It may also mean that you want to end the relationship and get on with your life.

The ‘relationship’ this felt like it was referring to was my shadow self. Doing work on love and acceptance here is key for everyone. I have done a lot of it and it has made a huge difference in my thought process, actions and goal achievement.

Cobwebs: Represents feelings about situations being pointless or hopeless with an awareness of the negativity in your life. You feel trapped by life and are living with a problem that you’ve gotten used to with no apparent solution.

Yep, that sums it up. It has been a tough past several years, but they are over!!

Broom: Extremely positive dream that means there will be rapid improvements and movements in your financial situation. You are clearing away old problems and moving forward with projects. If you are sweeping with a broom you will likely receive great news in the near future. Get ready to enjoy it. Your life is about to be filled with new positive opportunities. Be sure to capitalize on them.

Yaaaas!! READY!! I have been asking the Universe for this for a long time. All timing is perfect though and I now see the wisdom in it now that I am on the other side.

Stove: To dream of a stove represents your focus on progress, momentum, or getting something done. Slow, careful, or long term preparations. Preparing something important or special in your life.

I have been working on ‘putting myself out there’ for a long time, but fear was holding me back. Working on these fear has allowed me to transcend them and finally get to the work I was meant to do!

Duck: A duck that is running means an important secret will be revealed and good fortune ahead.

Ducklings represent positive changes are coming as well as new opportunities possibilities.

The mother of the baby ducks is a suggestion that a start of new beginnings is required right now.

Yay!! Fortune and good luck. An important secret?? How mysterious… I feel like this is going to be a great year!!

Eggs: Symbolizes new changes, fertility , birth and creative ideas. It is a great omen! Change is around the corner.

Yes, change is coming. It would be nice if ideas could come at two in the afternoon instead of two in the morning though ;).

Chicken: Chickens symbolize positive, unexpected and unusual changes in real life. A caged or out of place chicken represents that fear of leaving your home and your comfort zone. WIll you venture to try something new?

Ummm… yeah… A live chicken falling out of a stove?? I am definitely expanding my comfort zone. And I am ready for some positive changes!

Rice: Rice is a good omen and is often associated with prosperity, new beginnings, luck, fertility, sharing, companionship, and success. It symbolizes being taken care of on a multitude of levels.

I do feel very supported by the Universe.

Bowl: To dream of a bowl filled with something represents preoccupation with an experience, feelings, or ideas that you want to have a lot of. Noticeably not feeling jealous at all because you have a lot of something. Not being able to think of anything except what is you are doing or dealing with. Indulging in one thing only or not wanting to do anything except “what’s on your plate.” Enjoying a lot of something or feeling that experiencing a lot of something is easy. Negatively, a bowl may represent a tendency to think about doing something too much.

I do tend to obsess about projects I am working on. Balance baby, balance.

So, that was a lot but my overall takeaway is, the way my life has been is ending and new beginnings are afoot. All of my past life issues are being resolved rapidly and positively. My shadow self is coming with me, but in a positive way to lend to my progress and creativity. I would not be who I am without it. This is going to be a great year with lots of amazing experiences but I need to keep balance in my life and not get too wrapped up in things; to look around and appreciate all the aspects of my life.

Here’s to a great year!!

Have you had a crazy dream that you would like to share that you are trying to make sense of? Post it in the comments below and I can help you out.

The other night I found myself in a familiar place. I was having a dream that was pretty off the wall. In it I was talking to my sister and she was telling me my niece was hallucinating thinking there were all of these people coming into her house wearing pajamas. Apparently, it really upset her which I thought was weird until those people eventually became elves and started trying to kill her. Killer elves in pajamas. Yeah, that makes sense.

If I recall I had a couple of other disturbing dreams too, but I can’t remember them now. Although I do remember waking up and thinking… something’s up. Any time I have dreams about people being killed or something so vividly real I feel like I’m there, I know something is messing with me in my sleep.

When I finally did manage to wake up enough to have that thought, I looked around the room and saw (with my third eye) ahead poke through my headboard right in front of my face. “Psst! Hey! Hey!” A spirit was trying to get my attention. I told it that it wasn’t supposed to be in my house and it needed to leave. It apologized and went on its way which was nice because sometimes those things are pretty stubborn. I won’t get into it here, but I have had some pretty evil stuff show up that I have to call in Arch Angels to remove. Not my favorite activity at 3 AM, but it happens.

Spirits can most easily affect us when we are asleep. It is easy for them to access our subconscious and influence our dreams. Spirits don’t have boundaries and they think nothing of doing this. It’s annoying at best. So how do you know if one of these things is influencing your dreams? Here are a few ways to tell.

• Nightmares; particularly dark, gory or sexual dreams
• Extremely vivid dreams that feel like you are living them; especially if it isn’t a memory of yours
• Super off the wall dreams, if that is not the usual for you
• Feelings of overwhelming fear, sensations of being pushed, pulled, bitten; these feelings have a strange magnetic quality to them and feel very charged

It’s important to understand most of these things are just lost and don’t mean any harm they are just trying to communicate. If they do mean harm, they can be gotten rid of pretty easily and honestly, most of the time, messing with your sleep is the worst they can do. That being said, there is no reason to fear them. In fact, the less afraid you are the better. If you hold them as no big deal they can’t feed on your fear, which is what you want.

I have had several clients that report having recurring nightmares, some for years before they come to see me. This usually happens when a spirit or entity takes up residence in their home or attaches to them. This happens for various reasons, but it’s never the person’s fault. The good news is, they can be cleared with some energy work that only takes a few minutes. I have done this for years with a near 100 percent success rate. So if you are struggling with nightmares or feel there is something in your home, I can help. Your home is your refuge and you deserve to be at peace there.

If you do have one of these dreams or wake up and feel like something is in your room, try the exercise below.

Note: Arch Angel Micheal is for protection and that’s why we call on him here. It’s the easiest way to get back to sleep fast:

• Say, Arch Angel Michael, please come into my room and remove this entity from my space and from my being.
• Ask that angels fill your home with love and light and ask them to guard the perimeter.
• If you are having a creepy feeling, say these things over and over until you feel it dissipate.

This exercise usually works pretty quickly. If it doesn’t and you are having repetitive issues, I would be happy to speak with you in a consultation.

I had several clients this week that were all struggling with the same thing. They were all big meditators and had been focusing on releasing old stuff lately. You know, this Universal house cleaning everyone is compelled to do right now. They were clearing out old beliefs, stuck, old energy and could feel new things trying to come into their lives. But, it wasn’t coming. Even with all of the work they had done, there seemed to be something stopping it from coming in and starting to work its magic.

In every case, they had done the work to clear out all of the old energy but there was a problem. They were not clearing out what the old energy was attached to.

In our energy system, we have structures that everything else sits on. It is constructed to hold all of the stuff that sits on it; think the framing of the walls of a house. The frame gets nailed together and put in place, then the electrical wiring goes in and the drywall is attached to that framework to form the inside walls of the house.

The inside walls or the drywall so to speak are all of the imprints full of beliefs, traumas, old relationships, connections and many other things that sit on that inner framework and fill it out.

Each client had taken down their walls, but the same framework was still there.

When this happens, it’s really hard for new energy to come in and fill the space in a different way. It would be like if you were going to remodel a house and leave all of the old framing in place and bring in the drywall that was cut to the new shapes you wanted your newly designed rooms to be. How well do you think that is going to work?? It’s not.

You have to take out the framework too. This way, the new energy can come in to fill the space and your energy system has a chance to form new structures to support it.

To do this, you can set an intention for all of your old framework to be released and envision it floating out away from your body. When I look at this framework, it often looks like scaffolding. I envision a crane or a giant magnet coming in to remove it. It simply gets lifted out and taken away. I do this exercise until I feel like it is all gone. Then I invite in all of the new things that are trying to come in to fill that space.

Each client reported feeling much more settled after we did this exercise.

This exercise can be done by just envisioning it or if you are more comfortable, it can be done in meditation. Either way, taking out the old structures helps your energy system to adjust to all of the new things coming in and gets your mind in a better place to welcome them.

Grounding is one of the fundamental things that I teach. It is essential to ground our energy if we want to function at our highest. But sometimes, grounding seems nearly impossible. There are factors that can influence our ability to ground. One of those things is not being happy with where we are. This could be where we are physically located or where we are in our lives at the moment. When we are in this space, we tend to daydream, projecting our energy wherever we want to be.

Recently a client of mine was in this very predicament. She had moved to go to college in a different state. After arriving she realized that this wasn’t what she wanted after all. Everything felt off about it; the people, her classes, the intensity. Her heart was not in it and she was beating herself up for feeling this way. She tried to find ways to connect and integrate herself into the college life but it just felt wrong and it was draining her. She longed to be at a different school in a different state than she had visited a few weeks prior. It felt like a much better fit and she was energized being there. She had applied to go there next semester and it was all she could think about. The problem was, it was making her feel more disconnected than before from where she was going to school now. Everything felt like an increasing struggle and her health was suffering as a result. As we talked, her energy was stirring, but nothing was really sticking as far as creating a positive shift. We talked about grounding where you are and calling back your energy from where she was projecting it to be present. That seemed to make her feel worse. Then I was shown something in her field that made me shift what I was telling her. I saw pieces of where she was projecting her energy coming into her field. It was under her feet and it seemed to be recharging her energy. So instead of having her ground where she was physical, we brought where she wanted to ground to her. Think of it as carrying a momento with you to remind you of someone or something that makes you feel good.

We simply set the intention of calling in energy from where she wanted to be and put it under her feet. I told her to sink in her roots and before she even did that, she felt better. It was pulling her energy system out of the alarm state it was in from not being where the vibrations were more supportive and allowing it to have contact with something that felt good. She relaxed and her energy started to perk back up. It was apparent in her voice. She felt that the time she had left at her present school was more manageable now and had a renewed focus.

I would encourage you to use this as a tool if you have already made a decision to change something in your life and the timeline is just longer than you would like. It is great for boosts of energy to make the most of where you are right now. Try it out and let me know how it works for you.

If you have a teenager you know that one of the rights of passage into adulthood is college. It’s a big deal. The overwhelming amount of choices for schools, not to mention applying for scholarships and financial aid is enough to make an adult’s head spin, much less a wide-eyed teen. My son is going to be a senior next year, so naturally like any mom, I have been asking him the college question lately. “Where do you want to go? What do you want to study?”. A few months ago, he had all the answers for this and they were ambitious. Harvard, then Georgetown to study law then run for Congress and be president of the United States, after which he would do a stint in the Supreme Court to finish off his career.

I’m not the kind of mom to squelch dreams and I encouraged him to do whatever made him happy. But I am also practical. He is smart. Very smart. He takes all AP classes but then charms his teachers to turn in assignments late with no penalty. He hates reading and gets audiobooks instead. He procrastinates to the point of nervous breakdowns on a regular basis. He says that he loves school, but every time he turns around, I am seeing something else.

A few months ago, he lost his election for Student Body President. He just knew he was a shoo-in. And he lost. It left him to question everything; who he was as a person, his life path and purpose; everything. He found himself asking what most adults do. “What’s my purpose? Who am I? What is the point of any of this?”

So when the college conversation came up, he was paralyzed. He didn’t know what to do and couldn’t even bring himself to look at schools. I was getting really frustrated. Deadlines are approaching and the last thing I wanted to deal with was another meltdown. “Just pick something to research,” I begged.

He started crying, “I just can’t. I don’t know why. It’s like there’s a wall.” A wall… I knew that too well. It’s the Universe’s way of putting up a hard stop. “Just wait a week or so, and you will feel like looking,” I told him. Not having any idea what was coming next.

Right about that time my husband came in. He had no idea what we were talking about but sat down at the table with us. My son started talking about schools and that he didn’t know what to do. And then my husband, a college dropout and successful serial entrepreneur asked him a question I would have never thought to ask, “Do you even really want to go?” My son’s face said it all. “No, I don’t. I really don’t.” I was in shock. I just expected that he would want to go. This driven kid was burned out. He had been living for what he thought he wanted and his soul was finally stepping in and saying, enough.

The next hour of conversation was such a pivotal point in his life, I wish I had a recording. He talked about how college feels restrictive and heavy, how it feels like the wrong thing to do and how he wants to see the world. “I just want to travel around for a while, take a gap year at least.”

The more we talked about it, the straighter he sat up. He started to smile and even giggle. He talked about wanting to live in Austria and see the rest of Europe too. “Do it, then,” I said. “It’s a great way to learn about yourself and the world.”

So, he has decided to do it and I couldn’t be more proud of him. We often expect that life is linear, even for our kids, but asking them to decide what career they want before they even have a chance to experience life and find a passion is kind of a crazy thing to ask. It’s like getting married on a blind date. Who does that?

His soul wasn’t going to let him make that mistake and I am so glad he has the courage to follow that path. It ultimately doesn’t matter what anyone else expects you to do. You are here to live your life for you. And while traveling the world isn’t for everyone, it’s a perfect fit for him right now. Who knows, maybe he will be inspired to solve some world problem that no one else can figure out, or maybe he will just be a happy well rounded human being. Either way, it’s perfect.

I recently went to a dog park to film some videos. This is something I wouldn’t normally do because they are usually complete, perfect, mayhem but here in Austin, we had a toxic algae problem this summer and it forced this really gorgeous, popular dog park to close until it was back under control. My guides assured me this would be the perfect place to film, so I did my hair, put on makeup and decent clothes and headed that way.

Part of me was nervous about being there. My inner child fears getting into trouble more than anything else, but I figured if my guides told me to go there, it was safe and if I did get in trouble, I guess I needed to face that fear.

So I trekked in and set up my camera. It’s been forever since I’ve shot videos, so describing myself as awkward in the process would have been an understatement. Nonetheless, I proceeded to try and record my spiritual awakening story with some sort of grace so I could share it with all of you. 

About halfway through, I see this guy walking into the park and he is staring at me, so I stopped the video and looked back at him with this “can I help you” vibe. In all fairness, this was the third take and I was finally on a roll in the video. I may have been a bit irritated with him. He was nice though and asked me what I was filming. I told him, “videos for my website.” He asked me what I did and I told him I was an Intuitive Healer. I said it offhand, unfairly assuming that he would have no idea what I was talking about. He kind of lit up and smiled. Then I asked him if he was just going for a walk and he said, “No, I’m with the city. I’m checking on the algae problem.” I think the old me would have wanted to run like a criminal, but I was calm and we had a conversation about the algae levels. I guess I have done more healing there than I thought.

Then he asked me if what I did was Reiki. I told him, kind of in the same family, yeah. Then he told me his back had been hurting for about three days, and asked, did I know why. City worker, enlightened being; not what I expected. I told him it had to do with his dad and he looked confused. I just shrugged. “I don’t know, that’s just what I’m seeing.” Then I commented that the chakra in the low back has to do with money, finances and support in your life. He proceeded to tell me that made a ton of sense because all of those were a mess right now.

That’s when I started channeling information about what was going on. He was looking for a solution to his problem, but the issue wasn’t him trying to fix it, the problem was he had plugged into his solution as his Source. 

When we are having issues in our lives, we want to fix them. We think, if so and so likes me that is the answer, or if I just get this particular job, I will be fine. But what we are doing is that we are plugging into that ‘solution’ and making it our Source, instead of staying plugged into Source to fund us for all things and having the understanding that the job or relationship is a result of being plugged into Source. Source, Universe, God, whatever you want to call it, funds all things. If you start plugging into earthly things as Source, that is where you start forming unhealthy expectations. It cuts us off from our vital connection to the Universe. It also sets up the dynamic of expectation that whatever it is you are plugging into can not possibly fulfill which leads to massive disappointment. We feel hopelessly lost when it fails. So I explained this to him. He had the look of “Oh, that explains it” on his face. So I kept going. I led him through the exercise below. He thanked me, commented about needing to meditate and went back to surveying the algae, which is almost all better by the way.

You never know why you are guided somewhere. It could make your day. So, if you are feeling the pull to go to a closed dog park with an algae problem, you should go. You never know how it will impact your life.

Exercise for plugging into Source

First, see if you are Sourcing something other than Source:

Are you obsessing about something? A job, a relationship, an outfit, a car, college?

Do you have the feeling that if you have or do that one thing, it will fix all things in your life?

What about if it didn’t happen? Would it feel like your life would be over?

If you’re answering yes, you are probably disconnected from Source and plugged into something else.

Envision a long tube coming out of the top of your head. This is what you use to connect to Source. But right now it is plugged into the other ‘thing’. Visualize the ‘thing’ you are plugged into and see if you can sense or ‘see’ the cord.

Take a couple of deep breaths and envision taking the cord out of the thing and directing it over your head and plugging back into Source.

Take a couple of deep breaths and feel the energy of Source flowing back into your body. You will probably feel more relaxed.

Now think about the ‘thing’. It will probably feel less emotionally charged to you. You will probably be able to view the ‘thing’ more objectively as well, as in if you don’t obtain it, it’s not the end of the world.

Like anything else, this exercise is a practice, meaning, if you start feeling plugged into it again, repeat the exercise.

Let me know how this works for you in the comments section below.

We recently got a call that we had been anticipating for a while. Matt’s grandmother passed away. Normally, this would seem an ordinary occurrence in the circle of life but this lady managed to do something extraordinary; she lived to be 106. She was never on a long term medication, was never in pain and took her vitamins every day. She passed in her sleep.

At the service, the pastor recounted what his grandmother had told people over and over again were her secrets to living a long life. They weren’t anything that I mentioned above. They weren’t some complicated formula. Her secrets were to simply forgive; always forgive. As soon as you feel a worry, put it in God’s hands; always love. That may seem too simple to truly be the answer, but I can tell you that I saw it’s effects first hand in her life five years ago.

The first time I met her she was 101. We happened to be at the funeral of another family member and we took Matt’s grandmother back to her home after the service. She was feeling a bit ill, as the death in the family was sudden and unexpected. We got to talking and the conversation came to the healing work that I do. I asked her if she would like a session. She said yes. I was very curious to see what her energy system looked like given that she had never had energy work before. I prepared myself for a long session and tapped into her energy.

I couldn’t believe what I saw. This woman, who had never had energy work done, didn’t meditate on a regular basis (but did pray often) and ate pretty much whatever she wanted was virtually spotless. Every chakra was balanced and clean, every meridian was flowing and even her aura was intact with no rips or tears. Her energy system was cleaner and in better shape than anyone I had ever worked on. It was astounding. She had a little grief energy in her field from a couple of family members that I quickly removed, but honestly, it would have fallen out in a day or so.

Her simple formula worked. She didn’t hold onto things; no negative emotions had ever gotten lodged in her system long term and her impeccable health was the result. Not to mention, she lit up any room that she powered her little red wheelchair into, which she rode around on up until she passed. Simply the delight of a woman and a shining example to all of us that loving, trusting the Universe and forgiving is all it takes.

So next time you find yourself stressing out over something, give it up. When you are angry at someone, forgive. You can’t control what is happening around you, but you can control your reaction to it. Keep it simple. Forgive, forget, love.

My goal lately has been to get some semblance of structure in my business. Things are going well on many fronts, but getting everything done in a timely manner has been a bit like herding cats. On the day I am writing this, I had put on my calendar to write 4 blog posts. I put out one every Monday, so that’s a month’s worth in a day. Not bad.  Before writing this, I had finished 2 and had an idea for the third, but not much was striking me past that. So many things to write, but what is the right thing?

The Universe is not subtle sometimes, like, almost never, in my life. Almost immediately after I had that thought, I managed to catch my right pinky toe on a door. OMG! OUCH! Of course, my son was very supportive seeing me do this and doubled over laughing, as I danced around wailing, unable to put pressure on my foot. But after the pain subsided to a manageable level, I waddled to my office and sat down. Hmmm, maybe there’s a post in this?? And of course, there was.

If you ever whack a part of your body, look it up. Just Google, something like “spiritual meaning of right pinky toe symbolism”.

What is the Spiritual Meaning of the Pinky Toe?

So, the pinky toe is called the Earth toe, and is symbolic of trust and prosperity perceptions. The right pinky toe further holds deep beliefs about money and sexuality and the emotions of fear, insecurities and betrayal.

While that symbolism seems a bit heavy, there are some striking things there. Like I said, things are going well despite the state of the world at the moment and while this is a good thing, I am not used to it. Life has been crazy the past few years, which can make things going well a bit destabilizing. All the spirit guides in the world telling you over and over things really are good, is not enough sometimes. And that is when the Universe tries to break off your pinky toe to remind you to chill out. Message received. So if you find yourself with an injury on some part of your body, it’s a good idea to look it up, because if you don’t and that feeling or belief persists within you, chances are you are going to keep injuring yourself until you figure out the message.

How to find the spiritual meaning of other body parts

Here are the steps to take if you find yourself with an injury:

First address the wound or bruise, of course. Then look it up online and see what the meaning of that body part is. Think through how the meaning translates into your life. Then create a released statement around it. For example:

I acknowledge the beliefs and fear I have around money. I love myself even though these beliefs and feelings are present and I choose to release them to the Universe (God, Divine, etc). If specific thoughts, beliefs, memories, etc. come up during this process, they are being released and most likely, you won’t have to do anything else. If the memory or belief gets stuck as in, you can’t get it off of your mind, create a statement around that particular memory or belief and go through the same process again. This stuff is stacked in layers, so it may take some time to get to the bottom of things, but in the meantime, you will probably stop getting those painful reminders.

You might also like: A Pain in the Neck: What it Tells You

My husband and I just celebrated our 7th anniversary in November. It seems like we have been together forever, but at the same time, it seems like there is no way it has been 7 years. And those 7 years haven’t been easy ones. I would dare say we have been in marriage bootcamp nearly the whole time. Life has been throwing us curve balls left and right, honestly, enough for a freaking novel. You just can’t make this stuff up. But the one unfailing constant has been our unwavering ability to remain in a good place with each other. We are nice. We don’t exchange harsh words. Now before you go assuming what I mean, let me explain. First of all, this marriage is not my first rodeo. I was married before for almost 19 years. And it was hard. Really hard. For a whole host of reasons that are for another time. But in every relationship you learn a lot about yourself and that first marriage was a PhD program, in all the best ways. So, this time I am doing things differently and I picked a different type of person for my journey that mirrors how I view relationships. It’s a game-changer.

Like I said before, we don’t exchange harsh words. Now that doesn’t mean that I am on the verge of my head exploding because I never speak up. I even get comments from people saying, “but all couples fight. It’s healthy.” I would say more along the lines that fighting is a chosen dynamic fueled by what we believe to be true and for some couples it works. The way I see it is that fighting is like driving nails into a fence. Even if you remove the nail, the hole is still there. The damage is done. So how do you shift the dynamic of fighting? The first step is not to be reactive. Instead, first pause and reflect. Does what happened REALLY matter? Are you more upset than you should be about the situation? Was the act that has you upset intentional? If the answer is yes to any one of these, then whatever happened hit something inside of you that needs healing. That is why it happened in the first place. It gives you the opportunity to grow. So, if this happens, stop and take a moment to ask yourself, where is this hitting me? 

Do I not feel seen or heard? Is this reminding me of another time I was hurt? Does it cause me to doubt my trust in my partner?

When you make the connection, it helps you to bring the situation into a healthier perspective and elicit a more called for a response. And when you find these wounded places, love yourself and say, “I chose to heal this part of myself that was touched right now.” Take some deep breaths of light into the space that holds your hurt and let it go. After you have calmed and you feel that there are pieces of the situation that need to be addressed with your partner, by all means, do so. Problem-solve together. Never forget that you are a team. Each of you needs to own your part. If you can each begin to do that, you are destined for a long and happy life together.

Last week I got together with one of my near and dear friend. She had been struggling with a decision to move on with a relationship. They had actually already broken up but she is the kind of person that wants to still be friends and they had begun getting closer again. She told me that it had alarmed her and she was transparent enough to let him know. She didn’t want to hurt him but it was feeling uncomfortable and she needed some space. She wasn’t sure deep down if she should still be involved in any way at all with him.

I told her that when you aren’t sure, it’s best to just take a step back and really evaluate where the feelings are coming from. She had been hurt in the relationship, so we took a look at the triggers around what had happened and whether or not her feelings of distance were coming exclusively from that place or other places of fear of being hurt again. She started to describe the relationship and it came out that he still had a lot of guilt about what happened. The energy of the guilt he was carrying was part of the discomfort, but there were other small issues that she had brushed aside that her feelings of alarm were calling her to question.

I told her to take some time and things would come into focus in a few days. Sometimes, we are swimming in muddy water and until the dirt settles, we can’t see which way to swim.

A few days later I spoke with her again. She had a huge energy shift in the last conversation she had had with him and she felt she should end it completely. She was calling me to see if I could pick up on if that was the ‘right’ thing to do or not. I told her that if she was feeling that strongly about it, it was the right thing to do. Your soul will never steer you wrong, even if it isn’t the direction you expected.

I told her to imagine that each decision was a ball of energy in her hand. Take the first ball of energy which is staying in contact, put it in your mouth, chew it up and swallow it. See how it feels in your body, giving it a little time to settle. Notice how your body reacts physically and emotionally. Don’t try to make it anything other than what it is and don’t judge yourself for your reaction. Next, do that with the ball of energy that represents cutting off contact and see how that feels. This helped and she was able to feel a difference between the two and realized her initial intuition was right.

When we perform this exercise combining energy, imagery and our physical body, it engages our intuition in a different way. It allows the physical body, which we tend to trust more, to get involved (think of pain or a knot in your stomach or nausea). It is a great way to hone your intuition and stay in better alignment with your soul path, which is the ultimate decision for our best and highest good.

So next time you are struggling with a decision, chew it up and swallow it!

Let me know how it works for you in the comments below.