If you have a teenager you know that one of the rights of passage into adulthood is college. It’s a big deal. The overwhelming amount of choices for schools, not to mention applying for scholarships and financial aid is enough to make an adult’s head spin, much less a wide-eyed teen. My son is going to be a senior next year, so naturally like any mom, I have been asking him the college question lately. “Where do you want to go? What do you want to study?”. A few months ago, he had all the answers for this and they were ambitious. Harvard, then Georgetown to study law then run for Congress and be president of the United States, after which he would do a stint in the Supreme Court to finish off his career.

I’m not the kind of mom to squelch dreams and I encouraged him to do whatever made him happy. But I am also practical. He is smart. Very smart. He takes all AP classes but then charms his teachers to turn in assignments late with no penalty. He hates reading and gets audiobooks instead. He procrastinates to the point of nervous breakdowns on a regular basis. He says that he loves school, but every time he turns around, I am seeing something else.

A few months ago, he lost his election for Student Body President. He just knew he was a shoo-in. And he lost. It left him to question everything; who he was as a person, his life path and purpose; everything. He found himself asking what most adults do. “What’s my purpose? Who am I? What is the point of any of this?”

So when the college conversation came up, he was paralyzed. He didn’t know what to do and couldn’t even bring himself to look at schools. I was getting really frustrated. Deadlines are approaching and the last thing I wanted to deal with was another meltdown. “Just pick something to research,” I begged.

He started crying, “I just can’t. I don’t know why. It’s like there’s a wall.” A wall… I knew that too well. It’s the Universe’s way of putting up a hard stop. “Just wait a week or so, and you will feel like looking,” I told him. Not having any idea what was coming next.

Right about that time my husband came in. He had no idea what we were talking about but sat down at the table with us. My son started talking about schools and that he didn’t know what to do. And then my husband, a college dropout and successful serial entrepreneur asked him a question I would have never thought to ask, “Do you even really want to go?” My son’s face said it all. “No, I don’t. I really don’t.” I was in shock. I just expected that he would want to go. This driven kid was burned out. He had been living for what he thought he wanted and his soul was finally stepping in and saying, enough.

The next hour of conversation was such a pivotal point in his life, I wish I had a recording. He talked about how college feels restrictive and heavy, how it feels like the wrong thing to do and how he wants to see the world. “I just want to travel around for a while, take a gap year at least.”

The more we talked about it, the straighter he sat up. He started to smile and even giggle. He talked about wanting to live in Austria and see the rest of Europe too. “Do it, then,” I said. “It’s a great way to learn about yourself and the world.”

So, he has decided to do it and I couldn’t be more proud of him. We often expect that life is linear, even for our kids, but asking them to decide what career they want before they even have a chance to experience life and find a passion is kind of a crazy thing to ask. It’s like getting married on a blind date. Who does that?

His soul wasn’t going to let him make that mistake and I am so glad he has the courage to follow that path. It ultimately doesn’t matter what anyone else expects you to do. You are here to live your life for you. And while traveling the world isn’t for everyone, it’s a perfect fit for him right now. Who knows, maybe he will be inspired to solve some world problem that no one else can figure out, or maybe he will just be a happy well rounded human being. Either way, it’s perfect.

We recently got a call that we had been anticipating for a while. Matt’s grandmother passed away. Normally, this would seem an ordinary occurrence in the circle of life but this lady managed to do something extraordinary; she lived to be 106. She was never on a long term medication, was never in pain and took her vitamins every day. She passed in her sleep.

At the service, the pastor recounted what his grandmother had told people over and over again were her secrets to living a long life. They weren’t anything that I mentioned above. They weren’t some complicated formula. Her secrets were to simply forgive; always forgive. As soon as you feel a worry, put it in God’s hands; always love. That may seem too simple to truly be the answer, but I can tell you that I saw it’s effects first hand in her life five years ago.

The first time I met her she was 101. We happened to be at the funeral of another family member and we took Matt’s grandmother back to her home after the service. She was feeling a bit ill, as the death in the family was sudden and unexpected. We got to talking and the conversation came to the healing work that I do. I asked her if she would like a session. She said yes. I was very curious to see what her energy system looked like given that she had never had energy work before. I prepared myself for a long session and tapped into her energy.

I couldn’t believe what I saw. This woman, who had never had energy work done, didn’t meditate on a regular basis (but did pray often) and ate pretty much whatever she wanted was virtually spotless. Every chakra was balanced and clean, every meridian was flowing and even her aura was intact with no rips or tears. Her energy system was cleaner and in better shape than anyone I had ever worked on. It was astounding. She had a little grief energy in her field from a couple of family members that I quickly removed, but honestly, it would have fallen out in a day or so.

Her simple formula worked. She didn’t hold onto things; no negative emotions had ever gotten lodged in her system long term and her impeccable health was the result. Not to mention, she lit up any room that she powered her little red wheelchair into, which she rode around on up until she passed. Simply the delight of a woman and a shining example to all of us that loving, trusting the Universe and forgiving is all it takes.

So next time you find yourself stressing out over something, give it up. When you are angry at someone, forgive. You can’t control what is happening around you, but you can control your reaction to it. Keep it simple. Forgive, forget, love.

I bet you’re feeling a little overwhelmed. You have too much to do, and not enough time or energy to get it done. You’re stressed out, frustrated with yourself and your life, and you don’t know how to make things better.

When stress is running high in the general consciousness, if you are empathic in the least, whether you watch the news or not, you can’t help but soak up some of the panics. This is when self-care gets even more important; get plenty of rest, eat well, cut back on sugar and carbs (because they turn into sugar) to give your immune system the best shot at fighting off everything and manage your stress levels. 

Stress is an immune system wrecker on so many levels, from spiking hormones to affecting sleep, but there are a few key ways to manage your stress levels that anyone can do.

Deep belly breathing is one. Simply put your hands on your belly and breathe into it intentionally. Say to yourself, breathe in calm, breathe out stress. Doing 10 deep breaths of complete inhale and complete exhale with the intention of clearing your energy is an easy way to clear yourself out.

Another helpful breathing exercise is to breathe up through your feet. Imagine each deep breath you take in comes up through your feet and into your body. This brings grounding energy into your body and helps clear your head.

If you are an empath, chances are you are soaking up other people’s stuff, especially if you are panicking yourself. Like attracts like, so if you are panicked, do some deep breathing and as you do this, say to yourself, I choose to let go of any: fear, panic, etc. This covers your feelings and anyone else’s you have taken on. You can also light a candle and envision all of the energy/emotions that are keeping you in turmoil leaving you and getting burned up in the candle.

Lastly, take a salt bath. Put a couple of cups of Epson salt in a bath along with a couple of cups of baking soda (you can do it without the soda, but it’s helpful). Just soak for about 15 minutes in warm water. (If you have medical conditions that make it unsafe for you to take a bath, obviously don’t). I like to light candles as an extra way to dispose of the energy I am pulling out. I usually save a bath before bed so I can just maximize the benefits of being relaxed so much.

Try these out and let me know what you think!!

I’ve been having a lot of fun lately putting myself out there. One of the things that has started happening is that people I have not talked to in forever are starting to reach out. One of those people just happened to be the woman who facilitated my awakening on a massage table 15 years ago. I was excited to hear from her. She told me she had watched my awakening video on my About Me page and was like, I was there for that! We set up lunch for a Sunday afternoon and I started thinking about everything that has happened over the past twelve years or so since I had seen her.

So. Much. Stuff.

It just so happens that Matt knows her too from before we even met and she had played pivotal roles in both of our lives. As we were talking about it, we were unloading the dishwasher. Matt went to pick up a glass from inside the cabinet to move it and the entire bottom of it just fell off. He didn’t drop it, it just broke. It looked like someone cut the glass in half. We commented on how weird it was but didn’t think much else about it.

I did some energy work, clearing out my chakras and all the EMFs I had absorbed from sitting in front of the computer that long. I must have done 4 or 5 sessions on myself. It helped but there was still something else. A few days later it occurred to me that I had probably taken on the energy of the people I had connected with, so I did a couple of sessions to clear out anything I might have picked up from them. Again, it helped, but still not 100 percent. A few more days passed. I still felt I had something going on with everyone I had talked to so I went back into my energy system and removed all the connections that had been formed with these people. I was feeling more myself but any time I walked into my office, I couldn’t bring myself to sit down and work. Monday passed.

Every week I write a blog post and I just didn’t have the clarity to do it. While I forgave myself for the space I was in, I was frustrated. What was the deal? I knew I was still connected to these people, I could feel them, hear them. I got flashes of what they were doing, saying and thinking. It was driving me crazy. “I don’t understand what it is,” I told my husband, “It’s like, I’m not here or something.” Oh snap. Nailed it. I got off the couch from my pity party and went to do another session on myself. It wasn’t them connecting to me that was the problem. In all of my excitement of connecting to people, I had put myself out there; literally. Little energetic fragments of me were hitching a ride with these people from all over the planet. I had scattered bits of myself all over the place. It had spread myself so thin trying to connect I didn’t have enough of me to function. I called back the fragments of my energy I had placed with them. As I did this, I felt myself coming back together. My head cleared. I couldn’t feel them anymore. I was finally coming back to normal.

When you are empathic, sometimes it takes several different methods to feel better again after interacting with a lot of people. This can leave you feeling frustrated and drained. Be patient with yourself. Take things back to a simple place and get in nature. Get off your computer and Social media; anything that is noise; energetically, visually or auditory. It may take some time to feel better again. Take it slow. And just remember that being empathic is a gift, even though sometimes it may not feel like it.

Exercise to call back your energy fragments:

Sit or lie down with your eyes closed and relax. 

Set the intention to call back your fragments. 

Say, “I choose to call back the fragments of myself from anywhere they have spread to in the Universe. I choose for them to be cleaned, charged and in alignment with my energy before coming back to me.” 

Next, envision them coming back to you and take some deep breaths as they reintegrate into you. 

This may take several days to complete depending on how scattered you are.

I still remember rolling over in bed the morning after my kundalini awakening 15 years ago. My body felt like a sack of bricks and my heart hurt. It was all I could do to get out of bed. Emotions that I had suppressed for soooo long were coming to the surface. It was a blur of trauma, memories and emotions. I was walking around in a dream state, trying to function.

In the days following, I would have emotions come over me at the strangest times and it was often after I had been around someone that was excited, upset or depressed. I didn’t really grasp why at the time, but now I know. Before the awakening, I was empathic, but after it, that gift had been heightened in a whole new way. I seemed to feel everything from everyone else around me and I had trouble distinguishing which emotions were actually mine from someone I just walked past in the grocery store.

Being an empath can be really confusing. And sometimes, you may not be sure if that is true for you, so read on and I’ll outline some signs that you may be an empath.

• You feel things really deeply.

You take things to heart seemingly deeper than other people around you. Sad movies make you more sad than other people and when you are excited, you REALLY get excited.

Tip: Enjoy the ride. It’s a gift to feel things deeply, but don’t let it consume you. Be sure you are eating healthy and getting in nature. Stay as balanced as you can in the parts of your life you can control.

• You experience a lot of emotional highs and lows.

While there may be other reasons for this, empaths often experience a wide swing of emotions for no apparent reason. They can be fine one minute and crying the next, while nothing around them has changed to trigger it.

Tip: Know that there is nothing wrong with you for feeling this way but if it affects you severely, it might be good to talk to a doctor about it. You might have a chemical imbalance that is contributing to the mood swings, however, this is not always the case. Use your intuition to guide you as to when it is right to talk with someone about it.

• You get drained by being around a lot of people.

When it’s time to party, your idea of it is Netflix and petting your dog. It’s not that you don’t want to interact with others, it’s just that it drains you. And it takes a lot of time to recoup.

Tip: Use your intuition to guide you as to what events and people are beneficial to be around and which ones aren’t. Feel through it before you go. Don’t just cancel as your default reaction. Other people can really enrich our lives, but choose wisely, especially if you are an empath.

• You get bored by small talk.

Gossip and small talk make you want to run. It bores you because you like to talk about deep subjects that explore emotions and complex topics. What some celeb wore last week to Starbucks is no concern of yours.

Tip: Instead of going with a group of people somewhere, choose a friend you can talk to one on one. It’s easier to have a meaningful conversation this way.

• You have trouble telling if the emotion you are feeling is yours.

This is also another reason it can be hard for you to be around lots of people. You tend to pick up other people’s emotions and carry them as your own. It’s hard for you to tell if you are really sad or angry or if you picked it up from someone else.

Tip: If you are feeling funky after you have been around someone or even talked to someone on the phone, you may have picked up some energy from them. If your emotions are heightened, such as you are getting angry easier than normal, check-in with yourself and see if you took something on from someone. You can simply say, I choose to release the emotions I took on from (insert name). You can even name the emotion if you like. Then see if you feel different afterward.

• You have been through a lot of trauma.

Empaths often experience a lot of tragedy and trauma in their lives. This is part of their life path. It causes them to be more compassionate, but it can also cause them to be taken advantage of.

Tip: If you have experienced a lot of loss or trauma, you need to heal it. Working with an energy healer that you trust can be extremely helpful for empaths. Traditional counseling can help as well, although combining it with energy work makes it much more powerful. Learning to do self-healing is highly beneficial. My book Feel Better in Five Minutes delves deeply into emotions and how to understand and heal your traumas.

• Animals love you.

It’s like you are St. Francis himself. Even cranky pets of other people flock to you. They can feel your energy and can’t get enough of it.

Tip: If you are capable of having a pet, by all means, get one. Pets can be highly therapeutic for anyone, but especially for an empath.

• You get told you are an old soul.

Empaths have been around the block a few times. You are wise beyond your years. Others flock to you for your advice on the regular and strangers tell you their life stories.

Tip: It’s great to give advice, but be sure that you have someone in your life that you can get advice from too. You need a shoulder to cry on at times, instead of always being the one that is there for someone else.

If you would like more information about being an empath, click below to download your free guide: Empath, Take Back Your Power now.