What now?

Updated: Dec 28, 2019

Lately, life has been a bit upside down. It seems to be that lots of things are coming to an end. Some things I was ready to let go of and some, I wasn't. I have been finding myself kind of lost in the ether at times, floating around and not accomplishing much. When I use to get in that place it would really bother me. I would spend time beating myself up, being critical that I wasn't productive. The more I did that, the longer I stayed in that space, feeling lost and detached. But if the past few years have taught me anything, its how to master and actually kind of enjoy this space of not knowing. As things pass through our lives, we naturally form attachments to them in all sorts of ways. Whether they are material things, jobs, people or ideas, we use them to define our worlds and ourselves. Humans like to put things in neat little boxes. It feels safe. It helps us feel in control. But when someone or something comes along and dumps out your box or steals it, you can feel at the very least, out of sorts.

You start to question yourself...Who am I if that is not in my life? If I don't have that job, person, thing helping me define who I am, what is my value? Am I worth anything at all??

First of all, it's important to understand that at one time or another, we all go through this, even the most seemingly together people. It can shake our worlds, but what I am here to tell you is, LET IT. Wallow in it a little bit. Get dirty, cry, eat some junk food. We are here on this planet to have a human experience and part of that experience are these seemingly low places that we feel will never end. But the truth is, they will. They will change. The low places though, that is where we have the most growth. Those are the rich fertile stomping grounds of strong women and men. And even if you don't feel strong while you are there, this is a place to learn from and grow.

During the process of loss or change, we grieve. Allowing that process to take place actually helps it along and we get to the other side much faster than if we resist it. But here is the twist I want you to try out next time you are in one of these spaces; observe. Instead of staying all consumed with the feelings that are overwhelming you, look at it from a perspective of observance. Meaning, if you are crying (screaming, exercising, meditating or what have you) and feel despair, allow yourself to really feel the despair move through your body. As you feel it, have the understanding that it is a feeling and nothing more. Watch it move through you like a movie across a screen. The feeling is not who you are, it is merely a temporary state you are in right now. Having this perspective helps to prevent fear from setting in that this state is permanent. It keeps it separate from your identity. And feeling it means you are succeeding at being a human. Congrats. Moving through it with observance means you are moving towards mastery of the low spaces that cripple so many people. Huge Kudos.

As we allow ourselves to have emotions and observe them, it helps us go from the hopeless dynamic of what now? To the active dynamic of what's next?

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