These last couple of weeks have been interesting. Why? Because on the surface of my life not that much has happened. But energetically so much has been shifting that I feel like I am juggling fire batons while riding a unicycle uphill in the snow both ways... blindfolded. During times like these, if you were looking at me it looks like I am just staring out the car window or mindlessly scrolling through my social media feeds unfollowing people and watching videos of cats.
Darling, there is so much more going on. I am one of those weird people that sits down in my seat on a plane and just sits there. No music, no talking, not reading anything. Just sitting. The energy flowing through me keeps me busy enough. Anything else is just overwhelm.
I had intentions this week of getting ahead on blog posts, working on my book, my online courses and writing my first Linked In post since I have been getting more traffic there lately. Nope. None of that has transpired and I am practicing a new space of not beating myself up for it. It is what it is.
Emotions have been running high. During times like these many people reach for that tub of ice cream or sappy movies. But I binge on other things, namely Lewis Howes School of Greatness Podcasts. It's my guilty pleasure. I've tried other ones but his are that flavor of "ice cream" that always hit the spot for me. Why? who knows. I never know which ones I will be guided to watch or what messages I will get out of it. The latest one I watched really hit home for me though. It was Brene Brown talking about never feeling like she fit in anywhere and Lewis was gushing about how he could relate. I think we all can in some way. But what hit me is when she said, "fitting in is the opposite of belonging..." What??
Fitting in is the opposite of belonging.
Wow. I never thought about it like that. She said, if you are trying to fit in, you are compromising who you are and therefore losing yourself. If you belong, you are just you and aren't changing yourself for anyone else. She said, "I know that I always belong to myself."
The path to being in touch with who you are can be a longer road that anyone realizes. We can spend so much time trying to figure out who we are in relation to other people that we lose ourselves in the process. The beautiful thing is that when we finally start the journey of going inward and discovering what we like, what we are interested in, and what fills us up, we come to a whole new level of fulfillment and everything starts to change. Vibrationally, we start to resonate with our true ourselves.
This process creates an alignment that is so magnetic, it begins to take on a life of it's own. From here, we can manifest things we never knew were possible. Once we belong to ourselves, the other places that belong to us, start to emerge. People and opportunities start to show up that knock our socks off. The synchronicities come to a level that feels like you are in one of those movies where you lean over to the person next to you and say, "well, that never happens." Only it is happening to you and you can't freaking believe it.
The interesting thing is, here is where the real work starts. All of those doubts start to emerge: why is this happening? I don't deserve this! Am I good enough? Am I smart enough? When is it all going to go away? All of the doubts that have kept you in that box your whole life have to go. It's time to come out now.
That is what I have been going through in the last few weeks, taking down the sides of the box. It's vulnerable, exciting and downright scary. It requires stepping out in the world in a whole new way.
All of the things that make me different, that I feel like make me "undefinable" and have made me uncomfortable for so many years are what has ultimately given me the opportunities that lay before me. I decided late last year that I was just going to be me. I was going to be authentic and true to my voice no matter how different, quirky or incongruent with the rest of the world I thought it was. And you know what? That is when the magic started to happen. That is when the Universe said, "you are ready now for all of your dreams to come true." In the midst of finally stepping into myself, I learned something really cool. Who I really am, my authentic self, resonates with the world more than I ever knew.
You are who you are for a reason. Everything you have been through, everything you are, has a purpose for being the way that it is. You are being called to step up,, to step out and to finally be free.
So, if you are spinning right now and feel like you are grasping for straws, that's ok. It means you are closer than ever to connecting to the real you. Go watch some inspirational podcasts, call a friend and purge, take a walk, journal. Do whatever you need to do to sort it out. The pain you feel of being lost will start to diminish when you connect to the power within. Go for it. The world is waiting for you.